Change.

One of the most challenging yet rewarding parts of life is change. Change is a beautiful thing . . . but it means deviating from our comfort zone, and I think that scares people.

Most of my friends can attest to the fact that I've changed a lot over the past few years. And while I'll openly acknowledge it, I've never able to really understand it from their perspective . . . until now. While I was cleaning out my room this week, I found my senior yearbook. Talk about flashback from the past! The nostalgia was incredible . . . and for the first time in three years I was able to look at those pictures and finally see the stark difference between who I used to be and who I've become.

It's pretty hard to explain personal changes. Most of my family and friends see my external changes or "religious changes," which makes sense because those have been some of the biggest changes in my life. But I'll never really be able to express to them the real changes that sparked everything -- feelings and wishes that I could only recognize deep, deep down. Many of the internal changes I've made were rooted in me since I was young; maybe back then I didn't foresee becoming frum as the "answer," but now that I've learned more and been exposed to different people and places, I realize that Judaism addresses and emphasizes so many of the things I wanted to change about myself.

I feel bad for people that are scared of change. Forget external or religious changes, just change in general. Developing new philosophies, beliefs, hobbies, routine, etc is a healthy, normal thing. Just like a child slowly evolves into an adult, and an adult into an elder, the crux of our existence relies on changing and evolving as people. There's so much potential in this world to do more, be more --  but none of that is possible if a person is unwilling to deviate from their comfort zone.

I don't regret the changes I've made because I feel like I'm accessing the potentials and opportunities that were meant for me. I hope I'm becoming a better person than I used to be . . . after all that's where all this change business sprouted from in the first place. For awhile I used to wallow in my sorrows for all the people, places, and experiences I've given up as a result of my changes, but I've realized that with every new chapter of life comes new people, places, and experiences which are meant to help us learn and grow into new people.

I look back at my old letters and pictures with such great memories; many of those people still have such a special place in my heart. And though we've all taken different paths, it's so amazing that through it all, we've accepted each other for our changes. I'm so thankful that the Ribbono Shel Olam allowed me to have friends that accept me for who I've become.